384 Inner Thoughts of a Human

It took me a while to figure out how to start this post. I took a good minute to decide what exactly I wanted to say. I could just complain about what happened but what does that achieve? I am not saying you can’t be angry, or that you can’t get upset because if you limit the emotions, you allow yourself to use what is the point of the good ones?

I must have rewritten this post five or six times because I wanted the right message to ring clear.

Well, here goes. Stay with me, it is going to be a long one. Grab a snack or a got old cuppa tea,

A human being is very important, no matter how big, small, fat, or thin the human is. It can be anyone, doesn’t matter who. If you feel different, someone has a lot of explaining to do and a lot to say sorry for. If someone has made you doubt the worth of another human, they would have to be particularly vile. Some people deserve a big pat on the back, such as firefighters or anyone who would risk their lives for another person. Everyone else, you should be ashamed of yourselves. You value your life over theirs. In that respect, I am a hypocrite because I do not work in a lifesaver profession. It is a very hard thing to do as you must rewire your brain to run towards danger when your human instinct will be to run away or fight it, not join in.

You must ask yourself, what makes someone more important than another person? I have always believed that someone doesn’t gain a higher status because of their name, their appearance, who they are, what they do or where they come from. I think it comes down to how people treat others. If you are one of those people who has trained for hours to save people in emergencies then yes, they do deserve a great big thank you.

There is nothing more I could say to you, there are no words to award you for your efforts.

I think the real heroes are those who do not bask in the glory. The person who sits down at their local pub with no uniform, not raving about a life they just saved. They are just satisfied with the work they are doing. My hat salutes you.

If someone is drawing attention to themselves by shouting, making a big deal out of nothing then they are probably insecure and unsure of themselves, I call these the fake heroes. They seek the appraisal of others, to be told they are good at what they do; they want the praise and the attention. They are the most insecure people you will ever meet, but to cope with their problems, they must bring others down. Bullying, shouting, belittling, intimating, dictating, and delegating gives them the attention and the reaction they want. Being hated is something they look for. Now, it is true that not everyone you meet is going to be your friend; most are just there for the job. This doesn’t mean they can’t be decent human beings.

I believe this type of person to be like a damsel in distress such as a princess 1000 years ago. They are the type of people who can’t do anything without everyone making their decisions and doing the work for them. As much as a princess’s life is glamorous and amazing, I don’t believe this is the type of life I would want. I wouldn’t want to grow up knowing I couldn’t decide for myself and deal with a problem without help. I see myself as a person who doesn’t need help with everything. I can do things by myself and although I want to be independent and not ask for help every step of the way, I can ask for help when I need it. Knowing when to step down and ask for help is one of the best skills you can find.

Today, asking for help is seen as weak and an inability. People are scared or even petrified to ask for help, particularly in a work environment. No one wants to admit they don’t know how to do something because they are worried about how the people above them will react. Some can’t win if they ask for help or don’t, whichever way they play it is wrong every time. Your home environment and work environment are supposed to be safe for you to speak your mind and bring ideas to the table but everyone I have spoken to says it is easier and safer to keep their mouth shut. I know I certainly wouldn’t say anything in my current workplace.

My superiors as they are, see themselves and act like they are brilliant and the best you could ever find. This is great, good for them, but now there is a big but. Leaders should know when to shut up and listen to those around them. People who sit at the top are not at the top because they know everything, they are there because they had the sense to ask for help and employ people who know more than they do. These are successful because they knew when to sit down and listen to someone else. With those in charge, there are two major differences for me. There are bosses or leaders, I prefer a leader. A boss instructs people to do this and that. A leader will ask people for help.

Boss: “I want you to tidy that stand there”, this seems aggressive and demanding

Leader: “Can you help me tidy this stand, here is what I want you to do”, this is more sincere and allows people room to feel willing to help.

Out of the two above, I am more likely to do as instructed by the leader, I would look at the boss and half do it.

There is a big difference between asking a boss for help and a leader for help. Frankly, as a boss, I wouldn’t bother asking for their opinion if I didn’t have to. As a leader, you can ask them what they think, and you can bounce off each other by coming up with the best possible answer.

Here is the same scenario for a leader and a boss.

Boss scenario:

Me: “Can I ask for help on this, I am not sure if….” Boss interrupts before the sentence finishes Boss: “You do it like this, can I get on now?” Speak quietly Me: “Oh, okay, I’ll do that” Shouting Boss: “Don’t forget to cross your tees and dot your I’s, I’ll be checking” Walking away possible still unsure of what I am meant to be doing.

Leader scenario:

Me: “Can I ask for help on this, I am not sure if I am doing this right?” Leader: “Yeah what’s up?” Me: “Well, I am trying to write this email and I don’t know where to place the big about the elephant” Leader: “Okay, I would put it in that section so you can lead on to the next questions easily.” Me: “Oh yeah, okay, but what if you asked the question and used the elephant as an example? Would that work?” Leader: “Probably, give it a go, you can always change it.” Me: “Okay, thanks. I will try it both ways, see which way works best”.

You might ask me what the point of this is. The point that I wanted to get across is that everyone can do whatever they want. Don’t like some sad person putting you down because they can’t deal with their own lives. If someone gives you a hard time, just remember they are probably insecure and find joy in making your life as bad as they can get it.

There is a great way to put them down in their actions, smile through it. It will kill them inside to see that you are happy with your life while they are trying to destroy you.